Shanghai Is So Far Away

Paul McCartney sang in his song "Yesterday" that "Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away". Personally, Shanghai is the place that I feel seems so far away. I will tell you why.

It was in April of 2018 that a friend told that he had moved to Shanghai due to his company's sake. The year before, that is in 2017, he purchased his own house in Saitama and the second baby was born. In other words, the movement was the worst moment for him, and at the same time it was the best timing for his company because he had no choice to move considering his family situation. In his announcement, he added that you could come and see me to Shanghai if you want.

Other friends and I grined at his report, and no one imagined visting his new place this year. My mother passed away at the end of the previous year that was in December 2017, so I gave up going abroad in 2018 though I constantly went overseas trips. However, my mind changed around the summer 2018 because conservative attitudes made me stuck in the situiation. I contacted some of friends, suggesting that we would visit our friend in Shanghai together. They persuaded their wives somehow and decided to go to Shanghai in September, resulting in four members to fly to China.

Then the huge typhoon was sweeping through the Kansai region, destroying the bridge that connected the Kansai International Airport. Due to this unexpected trouble, my flight of JAL to Shanghai was cancelled while two members from the Chubu Centrair International Airport flew on time and one member whose flight was ANA not JAL from KIX was able to fly. As a result, it was only myself who remained in Japan even though I was the first person who proposed visting Shanghai.

In fact, this story is to be contnued, so stay tuned until the time will come.

(30min, 1795words)

＜日本語訳＞by Google Translation

ポール・マッカートニーは「イエスタデイ」という曲で「昨日はすべての悩みが遠く離れたように思えた」と歌っている。個人的には上海は遠く離れた場所だと感じる場所だ。その理由をお話ししよう。

友人が会社の都合で上海に引っ越したと聞いたのは2018年4月のことだった。その前年、つまり2017年に彼は埼玉にマイホームを購入し、2人目の赤ちゃんも生まれた。つまり引っ越しは彼にとって最悪のタイミングだったが、同時に彼の家族事情を考えると引っ越しするしかなかったため会社にとっては最高のタイミングでもあった。

発表には「上海に会いに来てもいいよ」と付け加えられていた。 彼の報告に他の友人たちもニヤニヤし、今年彼の新しい場所を訪れることは誰も想像していなかった。昨年末、つまり2017年12月に母が亡くなったため、海外旅行はコンスタントに行っていたものの2018年は海外に行くことを諦めた。しかし、保守的な考え方が私を窮地に追い込んだため、2018年の夏頃に考えが変わりました。私は何人かの友人に連絡を取り、一緒に上海の友人を訪ねようと提案しました。彼らはなんとか妻を説得し、9月に上海に行くことに決め、結果的にメンバー4人が中国に飛びました。

ちょうどその時、関西地方を襲った巨大台風により、関西国際空港を結ぶ橋が破壊されました。この予期せぬトラブルにより、中部国際空港からのメンバー2人は定刻通り出発し、関西国際空港からJALではなくANA便に乗ったメンバー1人は出発することができました。結果、上海訪問を最初に提案したのは私だったにもかかわらず、日本に残ったのは私1人となりました。

実はこの話には続きがあるので、その時が来るまでお楽しみに。

 

＊ChatGTPによる添削

語彙と文法間違いの指摘

1. "due to his company's sake" → "for his company's sake"
   "due to" は通常名詞句を導くため、この場合は "for" を使用します。

2. "no choice to move" → "no choice but to move"
   "no choice to" の表現は不自然で、"no choice but to" が適切です。

3. "you could come and see me to Shanghai" → "you could come and see me in Shanghai"
   "in" を使用して場所を示します。

4. "grined" → "grinned"
   スペルミスです。

5. "no one imagined visiting his new place this year" → "no one imagined visiting his new place that year"
   時制の不一致があります。

6. "I constantly went overseas trips" → "I constantly went on overseas trips"
   "go on trips" のように前置詞 "on" が必要です。

7. "conservative attitudes made me stuck in the situation" → "my conservative attitude made me feel stuck in the situation"
   主語を明確にし、"feel stuck" が自然です。

8. "we would visit our friend in Shanghai together" → "we should visit our friend in Shanghai together"
   提案のニュアンスには "should" が適切です。

9. "decided to go to Shanghai in September, resulting in four members to fly to China" → "decided to go to Shanghai in September, resulting in four of us flying to China"
   文の流れが自然になるように変更しました。

10. "my flight of JAL to Shanghai was cancelled" → "my JAL flight to Shanghai was canceled"
    表現の簡潔化と米英スペルの統一。

11. "whose flight was ANA not JAL from KIX" → "whose ANA flight from KIX was not canceled"
    意味が明確になるように言い換えました。

12. "so stay tuned until the time will come" → "so stay tuned until the time comes"
    "until" に続く節では現在形を用います。

＊ChatGTPによる模範解答

Paul McCartney sang in his song "Yesterday" that "Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away." Personally, Shanghai is the place that feels far away to me. Let me explain why.
It was in April of 2018 when a friend told me that he had moved to Shanghai for his company’s sake. Just the year before, in 2017, he had bought a house in Saitama, and his second child was born. In other words, the move came at the worst time for him, but it was the best timing for his company because he had no choice but to move, given his family situation. He added that we could visit him in Shanghai if we wanted.
My other friends and I grinned at his news, and no one imagined visiting him that year. My mother had passed away in December 2017, so I gave up on traveling abroad in 2018, even though I frequently went on overseas trips. However, by the summer of 2018, I felt stuck in my situation and decided that being too cautious wasn't helping me. I reached out to some friends, suggesting we should visit our friend in Shanghai together. They managed to convince their wives, and we decided to go in September, leading to four of us booking flights to China.
But then, a huge typhoon swept through the Kansai region, destroying the bridge that connected Kansai International Airport. Due to this unexpected issue, my JAL flight to Shanghai was canceled, while two of our friends flew from Chubu Centrair International Airport on time, and one more, whose ANA flight from KIX was not canceled, also managed to leave. As a result, I was the only one left in Japan, despite being the first person to suggest visiting Shanghai.
This story is to be continued, so stay tuned until the time comes.

＊所感

改めて書く内容が頭にしっかりあれば書くこと自体は困らないな、と感じた。基本的に時系列に従ってあれこれ書いていけばいいだけだし。無論、その中で然るべき表現を使ったり文法・語法を正しく運用することが求められるけど。やはり、そろそろ面接用の論理がハッキリするような文章にも取り組まなければな。

しかし、台風10号(a.k.a. サンサン）はかなり迷走したよな。九州と関東南部での被害が大きいみたいで関西はそうでもなかった。