The Market Crashes

The Japanese stock market crashed heavily at last Friday. The amount of market loss ranks in the second worst, but the ration of it was out of the 30th position.

Watching the stock market is one of my hobbies because of my investment that I started around 2007. Keeping watching the movemnet of the stock market reminds me of many events that happened all over the world. Some of them are here: the American financial crisis in 2008, the big earthquake and tsunami that struck East side of Japan in 2011, the UK referendum to laeve EU in 2016 and the COVID-19 pandemin in 2020.

Every time the market crashes, many investors falls into a grief due to their great losses. Ups and downs in the stock market are natural, but a sudden fall of stock prices indeed brings about fears for those in the market. Looking in the long term, however, the stock index price tends to keep going up in some markets.

It seems that we will see a severer situation tomorrow as the future trading indicates. Tomorrow might be the BLACKEST MONDAY that will be boyond the Black Monday in 1987. We will see what will happen.

(14min,1057words)

＜日本語訳＞by Google Translation

先週金曜日、日本の株式市場は大暴落しました。市場損失額は2番目に悪いですが、その割合は30位以内でした。

2007年頃に投資を始​​めたため、株式市場を見ることは私の趣味の1つです。株式市場の動きを見続けると、世界中で起こった多くの出来事を思い出します。そのいくつかは次のとおりです。2008年のアメリカの金融危機、2011年に日本東部を襲った大地震と津波、2016年の英国のEU離脱国民投票、そして2020年のCOVID-19パンデミック。

市場が暴落するたびに、多くの投資家が大きな損失で悲しみに陥ります。株式市場の浮き沈みは自然なことですが、株価の急落は確かに市場にいる人々に恐怖をもたらします。しかし、長期的に見ると、一部の市場では株価指数価格が上昇し続ける傾向があります。

今後の取引が示すように、明日はさらに厳しい状況になりそうです。明日は 1987 年のブラック マンデーを超える最もブラックな月曜日になるかもしれません。何が起こるか見てみましょう。

＊ChatGTPによる添削

1. at last Friday → last Friday

   • "at"は不要。時を表す副詞句として「last Friday」と書くのが自然。

2. The amount of market loss ranks in the second worst → The amount of market loss ranks as the second worst

   • "in"ではなく"as"が適切。

3. but the ration of it was out of the 30th position → but the ratio of it was outside the top 30

   • "ration"は"ratio"、また"out of the 30th position"は"outside the top 30"が自然。

4. Watching the stock market is one of my hobbies because of my investment that I started around 2007 → Watching the stock market is one of my hobbies because I started investing around 2007

   • "my investment that I started around 2007"よりも簡潔に。

5. Keeping watching the movement of the stock market → Keeping an eye on the stock market movements

   • "Keeping watching"は不自然。"Keeping an eye on"の方が自然。

6. reminds me of many events that happened all over the world → reminds me of many global events

   • 簡潔に表現。

7. Some of them are here: the American financial crisis in 2008 → Some of these events include: the American financial crisis in 2008

   • "Some of them are here"は不自然。"Some of these events include"の方が良い。

8. struck East side of Japan → struck the east side of Japan

   • "East side"ではなく"the east side"。

9. investors falls into a grief → investors fall into grief

   • "investors"は複数形なので"fall"。"a grief"ではなく"grief"。

10. brings about fears for those in the market → brings about fear among those in the market

    • "fear"は不可算名詞。"among"の方が自然。

11. Looking in the long term, however, → In the long term, however,

    • "Looking in the long term"は冗長。"In the long term"で十分。

12. we will see a severer situation → we will see a more severe situation

    • "severer"ではなく"more severe"。

13. Tomorrow might be the BLACKEST MONDAY that will be beyond the Black Monday in 1987 → Tomorrow might be an even blacker Monday than the one in 1987

    • "the BLACKEST MONDAY"は強調しすぎ。"an even blacker Monday"が自然。

＊ChatGTPによる模範解答

The Japanese stock market crashed heavily last Friday. The amount of market loss ranks as the second worst, but the ratio of it was outside the top 30.

Watching the stock market is one of my hobbies because I started investing around 2007. Keeping an eye on the stock market movements reminds me of many global events. Some of these events include: the American financial crisis in 2008, the big earthquake and tsunami that struck the east side of Japan in 2011, the UK referendum to leave the EU in 2016, and the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020.

Every time the market crashes, many investors fall into grief due to their great losses. Ups and downs in the stock market are natural, but a sudden fall in stock prices indeed brings about fear among those in the market. In the long term, however, the stock index price tends to keep going up in some markets.

It seems that we will see a more severe situation tomorrow as the futures trading indicates. Tomorrow might be an even blacker Monday than the one in 1987. We will see what will happen.

＊所感

なかなか訂正個数が減らないなぁ。ただ、今回は「この表現は冗長、不自然、強調しすぎ」などの指摘が見られた。

そう、自然な表現って、いざ書こう（言おう）とすると、すんなり出てこないんよね。意味としては合ってるけど、何だかヘンテコな表現をする段階にいる、ということかもしれない。脱したい！！